Tuesday, February 01, 2005

eMagin Introduces Virtual Reality Visor!

If your mother ever told you not to sit too close to the TV, you can finally tell her to fuck off with the new 3D virtual reality visor by eMagin. Using patented organic light-emitting diode technology, the eMagin 3D visor will make computer eye-strain a thing of the past... and visor eye-strain the wave of the FUTURE!

"During the first couple months of testing, we kept having trouble with peoples' eyes just falling out," chuckled Project Engineer Toby Fallsworth, "but I guess that problem kind of fixed itself eventually. Intermittent problems are weird like that."

The Z800 Visor's two OLED displays track the movement of the user's eyes and head to allow a 360 degree viewing-angle, and can draw power from any standard USB port. The Visor's resolution is equivalent to viewing a 105-inch screen from twelve feet. Given, nobody mentioned what kind of 105-inch screen, but as Ghandi always said, "Its the size that matters."

Lead Designer Allen Peterson let the editors of Discouragement in on a little secret, "I snuck this circuit in the visor... everybody thinks its a hue adjuster, but it transmits false memories to the user on ultraviolet wavelengths. People are going to be so totally messed up, its gonna be awesome! They'll be like, 'Hey man, where'd my desk go?' and the other guy'll be like, 'Man, you don't work here get the fuck outta here.'"


Infosync World has more on this remarkable device.

15 Comments:

Blogger Carmi said...

Yes, but if you tell your mother to f--- off, she'll smack you so hard on the head that your precious 3D visor will shatter into a kajillion pieces.

Still, they look cool. Just remember to be nice to mama.

February 1, 2005 at 12:07 PM  
Blogger EngineerDan said...

My mother's upper body strength isn't what it used to be. Anyway, I think I read somewhere that these visors were smack-proof for the very reason you mentioned.

February 1, 2005 at 12:39 PM  
Blogger fbuss said...

ED,

Please tell me when and where - Ghandi said, "Its the size that matters." Being an Expert on All Things Ghandi I have never come across this comment by him and I am curious to know your source.

February 1, 2005 at 3:21 PM  
Blogger EngineerDan said...

It's a common quote usually referred to as the "Gandhi Talisman" where he said:

"I will give you a talisman. Whenever you are in doubt, or when the self becomes too much with you, apply the following test. Recall the face of the poorest and the weakest man whom you may have seen, and ask yourself, if the step you contemplate is going to be of any use to him. Will he gain anything by it? Will it restore him to a control over his own life and destiny? In other words, will it lead to swaraj (freedom) for the hungry and spiritually starving millions? Then you will find your doubts and your self melt away, and that oughtta give you a massive boner. The boner will remind you that in matters of the heart, its the size that matters."

February 1, 2005 at 3:41 PM  
Blogger fbuss said...

Ah, the Talisman. I should have known.

I see now how your left and right brains collide with such great impact and force to allow you to distort with such easy and grace. Nice use of the word "boner", I might add. Keep up the good work. You are the spawn of a murth pestilence that entrances me.

February 1, 2005 at 4:18 PM  
Blogger babblingdweeb said...

Big words scare me today...I might have to drink before I comment.

February 1, 2005 at 5:24 PM  
Blogger EngineerDan said...

Fbuss, thank you. I must redirect the praise for word usage, however, back to Gandhi/Ghandi: the originator of the wisdom.

The assertion that I have a working right brain is interesting, indeed. And "murth", wow, great word. I had to go to dictionary.com for that one. I wouldn't attribute my unique brand of professional journalism to anything other than a brain regressed to adolescence by years of abstract logical thinking and corporate ass-kissing, though.

Babblingdweeb, great to have you back! I was certain that you were dead.

February 2, 2005 at 8:54 AM  
Blogger babblingdweeb said...

Me dead? Never, my robotic substructure prevents that; plus I have jacked into so many systems…oh wait that was a movie. DAMNIT!! Yes I took a minor hiatus - but I embraced the "back post" so some folks will never know.

I always have one MAJOR issue with VGA goggles - resolution. While the screen might appear to be 130' or whatever...they still have a crappy resolution. For example, why would I want to turn a plasma TV into a monitor? I don't care how big it is, the resolution sucks so bad you would effectively lose 1/2 the screen real estate you would get from a monitor smaller and cheaper then your TV. WTF is the point? Convenience eh? What convenience?!?! You can’t walk around with these things on your head and go about your daily business…so what's the point? I would rather see these turn into a real monitor substitute then the gimmick that they are now.

Lame.

February 2, 2005 at 9:58 AM  
Blogger EngineerDan said...

I think they should apply the technology to artificial eyes. What rational human being wouldn't want to trade their boring old organic eyes for artificial ones that have to be upgraded every eight months?

February 2, 2005 at 10:19 AM  
Blogger Collin said...

Hmmmm... I was going to email you regarding the comment that you left at my site the other day, however I can't find your email address anywhere. Is this some kind of test? If so, I don't think I'm going to pass it. I feel my GPA slipping as I type this. arrrgh.

February 3, 2005 at 2:19 PM  
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February 3, 2005 at 5:09 PM  
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