Thursday, January 13, 2005

Star Wars: Earth Attacks!




After years of benign discovery, NASA finally lashes back at the cosmos in an unprecidented act of astro-terrorism. "Deep Impact", a spacecraft carrying an 820 pound projectile, launched yesterday in the hopes of sucker-punching nearby comet Tempel I.

When asked about the scientific merit of the launch, chairperson Dr. Allen Trowler paused thoughfully before replying, "I just really hate comets, I guess." Dr. Trowler went on to elaborate, "They're like the annoying neighborhood kid that you'd just knuckle-punch in the fucking head if his Dad didn't work where you bought your breakfast."

Scientists at NASA hope that studying the debris created from the collision will help them better understand the composition of a comet's nucleus. Sr. Engineer Joseph Gann explained, "By better understanding the nature of these beautiful celestial strangers, we can eventually begin to understand their weaknesses. Once we learn that, they'll be our slaves." 

More at Sun-Sentinel

7 Comments:

Blogger babblingdweeb said...

I am still thrown for a loop on this one. I read some info about it a little while back on space.com and I just had to say: are we not ASKING for trouble here?

Wait until we find out that they hit it with too much force, thus changing its orbit just enough to make a head on collision with Earth. Granted it will be in year 2457...so I know I'll be long gone by then so what do I really care?

-bd

January 13, 2005 at 4:05 PM  
Blogger EngineerDan said...

From what I hear, the projectile should have about as much effect on the comet as a guy stepping in front of a train. The comet is much more massive, and has much more velocity. Still NASA has an excellent track record...for fucking things up. I think its much more likely that they'll miss the comet completely than set it on a collision course with earth. Who knows, though. Murphy's Law.

January 13, 2005 at 7:18 PM  
Blogger EngineerDan said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

January 13, 2005 at 7:18 PM  
Blogger babblingdweeb said...

See!! That's what I am saying: it shouldn't be possible to fuck it up, but these guys/gals are from NASA; they tend to make mistakes (they are human) and when they do they make BIG-ASS-SCARY mistakes!!

Maybe if we all wear tinfoil (yes I know they don;t make tin foil anymore) on our heads we can create a planetary mirror to reflect light into space and melt the comet before it hits Earth. Of course we would have to wear them all the time for the next 400 years...

January 13, 2005 at 10:17 PM  
Blogger babblingdweeb said...

I posted a comment on my site as a response to you...but you might not see it so:

The site meter works, I just set the view to be hidden...so unless I log in I can't even see it. It's pretty good for a freebie and I like the fact the logo is super small...I wanted to go almost graphics free on my site design so it's small enough it doesn't bother me. They have a few other images: with hit total, without hit total, just the hit total...

-bd

January 14, 2005 at 11:05 AM  
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October 25, 2005 at 4:55 PM  
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