Friday, January 14, 2005

Samsung Mocks Consumers with Awful Product


(Photo: Samsung reps demonstrate dialing the new SCH-S310.)

As Thomas Edison so cleverly put it, "The purpose, nay, the responsibility of technology is to confine a brilliant idea within a shitty cell phone that is nightmarishly difficult to use."

Samsung revolted loyal supporters this week by announcing a new paradigm for telephone dialing. Say goodbye to bothersome buttons you actually have to press . Wave adios to user-friendly voice dialing! Samsung now enriches your dialing experience by forcing you to wave your cell about you wildly in a vain attempt to air-draw the numbers you are trying to dial. Zorro would be so proud. 

Shaku Jow, the spokeperson for Samsung, was unable to comment on this breakthrough as he is being detained by Japanese police after reportedly breaking an elderly bystander's nose while attempting to call information. Samsung's lawyers argue, "That guy was so old, in a few hours his nose probably would have broken by itself."

I swear this is a real product. Look


69 Comments:

Blogger Thérèse said...

In no way is this related to what you have written, but it must be said: that scene is one of my favorites from that movie. Way to go on including fun pictures in your site.

January 14, 2005 at 12:32 PM  
Blogger EngineerDan said...

Oh C'mon! In NO way related? I think what you mean to say is "In no REASONABLE way related". Sheesh.

I stand behind my journalistic liscence to invent stupid shit if it makes the story more entertaining. This site may be loaded with lies, but they're ENTERTAINING lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth?

The answer is no.

January 14, 2005 at 12:43 PM  
Blogger Thérèse said...

Nope, I pretty much meant in no way related.
Better luck next time.

January 14, 2005 at 1:04 PM  
Blogger babblingdweeb said...

This is the perfect product for my roomate. He had a palm...just because everyone did in 1999-2000...he really only used it for games. He got an iPaq when I really wanted/needed one...he uses it for games, but it really just sits on his desk and looks pretty. He had a cell phone that I wanted, but I opeted not to get...his mom got him a new one with Win Mobile 2003 on it.

Now why a guy that never uses his phone nor PDA for business would need 2 PDAs, 2 cell phones and a new combo PDA-Cell phone is beyond me.

I am a techno-weenie, but he buys the shit that I want...and doesn't use it. Talk about annoying!

I have a $5 bet that he buys it.

January 14, 2005 at 1:24 PM  
Blogger EngineerDan said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

January 14, 2005 at 1:24 PM  
Blogger EngineerDan said...

Thérèse,

Leave it to someone in the environmental field to lack the ability to form associations.

Lets assume: A->"My article", B->"The link", C-> "A phone you wave around in the air to dial."

Given:
My article is about a phone you wave around in the air to dial. The link was about a phone you wave around in the air to dial.

A->C & B->C
Therefore: A->B

In environmental words, my article is related to my link.

But Thérèse, the real question here is not whether my article is related to my link. The real question is, "Why is EngineerDan such a moron/loser/stud that he *enjoys* writing foolish/stupid/hilarious articles with not-reasonably-related links, and then arguing with people/others/dweebs about how they're actually related when he knows they aren't."

I actually appreciate your input.

January 14, 2005 at 1:26 PM  
Blogger Thérèse said...

Please allow me to explain perhaps more clearly. Leave it to a controls engineer to complicate something simple.

First, let's read the problem statement (i.e. my comment) once more, to refresh:

"In no way is this related to what you have written, but it must be said: that scene is one of my favorites from that movie. Way to go on including fun pictures in your site."

And now we break down the meaning of the problem.

"In no way is this related to what you have written [...]"

If we ignore the rest of the sentence, this could be taken as referring to the picture you posted. However, since there is more to the sentence, we shall continue reading it.

"[...], but it must be said [...]"

Since there is a comma this is completely irrelevant to the meaning of the sentence and was simply put for style, we can leave it out. Now, it reads:

"In no way is this related to what you have written: [...]"

The punctuation suggests that the meaning is that in no way is what follows the colon (that would be this symbol ":") related to what was previously posted.

Or, if you will allow me to repeat with explaining brakets to clarify what was implied,

"In no way is this [sentence that I am about to write after the colon] related to what you have written, but it must be said: that scene is one of my favorites from that movie. Way to go on including fun pictures in your site."



I have to tell you, I laughed out loud reading your witty comeback. Too bad I win. ;)

January 17, 2005 at 10:20 AM  
Blogger Thérèse said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

January 17, 2005 at 10:27 AM  
Blogger Thérèse said...

I forgot to put something in quotations.
Dan, before you misunderstand again, please allow me to revise my latest comment. (This is what I get when I don't get someone to check my work. Sigh.)

[...]
And now we break down the meaning of the problem.

"In no way is this related to what you have written [...]"

If we ignore the rest of the sentence, "this" could be taken as referring to the picture you posted.
[...]
You should know, I'm still laughing.

January 17, 2005 at 10:30 AM  
Blogger babblingdweeb said...

OOOoooo an Engineer Bunrfest! :)

January 17, 2005 at 11:33 AM  
Blogger EngineerDan said...

(We have just lost cabin pressure.)

Thérèse, let me be the first to congratulate you on doing something no other human being has ever done: Successfully convince EngineerDan that he is wrong. Whether I've actually been wrong before is irrelevant. This is the first time I've been convinced of such. I mean, sure, you expect to use an ambiguous term like "this" and make me waste my time in studious exegesis on your comment..but my superhuman intellect should be able to compensate for your lack of precision.

She blinded me with grammar...

However, I fing grave and accute accents in your name so pretentious that I must confiscate them.

Énginèèr Dan

January 17, 2005 at 12:10 PM  
Blogger Thérèse said...

There exist very few pleasures that bring more happiness than proving an engineer wrong.

;)

What a good sport. He's been told by a) a younger engineer b) a woman and he c) has kept his sense of humour.

Will wonders never cease.

January 17, 2005 at 3:03 PM  
Blogger EngineerDan said...

Who's this "younger engineer"? If you meant babblingdweeb, he's actually older than I. If you meant yourself, I don't think anyone could consider someone in the Environmental field to be a true engineer without laughing up both lungs first.

What are these "Will wonders" of which you speak, and what prohibits them from ceasing? If the statement was a question with a question mark, I would be able to perform my degraved, deacuted Therese-commentary-exegesis more accurately.

I enjoy your rants, Therese. I don't even mind proofreading them for you.

Off Topic: A guy at majorgrooves.blogspot.com keeps a thrilling resume of his nightly dinner plans. Won't you join me in praising his compelling work? Check out my comments to his blog articles "Leftovers" and "Lies" in that order. The chap seems to have an excellent sense of humor.


Énginèèr Dan

January 17, 2005 at 3:30 PM  
Blogger babblingdweeb said...

Hey now...keep me out of this one! Besides I quit the engineering field before I took any engineering courses. I wanted to stay out of the spotlight (a.k.a. the blunt of too many jokes).

January 17, 2005 at 4:11 PM  
Blogger Thérèse said...

I did mean myself. And surprisingly, I have both lungs intact. I didn't realize you were a biologist as well as an engineer.

[Sigh.] Very well. "Chemical engineer" if you want to get more specific. Most people don't know what that means and it makes my life easier to just say "research engineer" or "environmental engineer." I didn't dream an engineer would give me a hard time about that.

Dan, cher, if you want accents in your name, I suggest you stick to the French translation: "ingénieur." You can't keep my accents.
Ils m'appartiennent et je ne te les ai pas offerts. ;)

Thérèse

January 17, 2005 at 4:30 PM  
Blogger EngineerDan said...

You find "Environmental Engineer" easier to explain to people than "Chemical Engineer"? People are so dumb. My condolences, mein freund, for having to euphemize your title.

Instead of telling people I'm a Controls Engineer, I always say,"Imagine the Terminator robot...now imagine his retarded neandertal ancestor. If he didn't look like a robot, and he put ketchup in bottles really fast, I might have designed him."

Ich nehme, was ich will.
Fick das Französisch.

Énginèèr Dan

January 17, 2005 at 8:37 PM  
Blogger Thérèse said...

Yes, "environmental engineer" goes down easier than "chemical." You know that glazed disinterested look people give you once you admit that your line of work is engineering? It lasts a little less long when you say something like environmental in your title. People know what the word "environment" means, so they imagine something and that is usually enough to categorize someone.

I forgive you. Barely.

If you want to get ridiculously picky, call me a project engineer. Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

So, EngineerDan, are you going to post something new up that can be picked apart, or shall we continue this commenting that has gone so very far away from the original topic?

Et s'il-vous-plaît, n'insultez plus ma langue maternelle. Je n'aime pas ça.

January 18, 2005 at 10:05 AM  
Blogger EngineerDan said...

Das tut mir Leid. Entspannen Sie.

January 19, 2005 at 6:59 PM  
Blogger Thérèse said...

Well I'm just saying. Just saying, so I can have the last word on this one. Heh.

January 26, 2005 at 1:33 PM  
Blogger EngineerDan said...

You may have the last word.

α↔(⌐α)

January 27, 2005 at 7:54 AM  
Blogger Thérèse said...

Thank you.

January 27, 2005 at 1:35 PM  
Blogger EngineerDan said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

January 27, 2005 at 2:31 PM  
Blogger EngineerDan said...

You're welcome.

January 27, 2005 at 2:40 PM  
Blogger Thérèse said...

Oh, how lovely of you to be so polite and let me have the last word.

January 27, 2005 at 4:53 PM  
Blogger EngineerDan said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

January 27, 2005 at 6:56 PM  
Blogger EngineerDan said...

Anything for a viewer, please don't mention it.

January 28, 2005 at 8:15 AM  
Blogger Thérèse said...

Of course not. I wouldn't dream of mentioning it.

January 28, 2005 at 9:20 AM  
Blogger EngineerDan said...

That's a relief.

January 28, 2005 at 10:54 AM  
Blogger Thérèse said...

I'll bet.

January 28, 2005 at 11:16 AM  
Blogger EngineerDan said...

You'd win that bet.

January 28, 2005 at 11:38 AM  
Blogger Thérèse said...

You're right, EngineerDan. Actually, I already won that bet.

January 28, 2005 at 11:51 AM  
Blogger EngineerDan said...

Your intuition, then, is laudable.

January 28, 2005 at 11:59 AM  
Blogger Thérèse said...

Why, thank you. How astute of you to mention it.

January 28, 2005 at 1:55 PM  
Blogger EngineerDan said...

Astute is my middle name. I always hated my parents for that.

(Sigh) I wonder how many comments a post will hold...

January 28, 2005 at 2:08 PM  
Blogger Thérèse said...

I've seen things go higher than 50. Just saying.

January 28, 2005 at 2:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Truce.

January 28, 2005 at 2:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Accepted.

January 28, 2005 at 2:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

January 31, 2005 at 10:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

January 31, 2005 at 11:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

January 31, 2005 at 12:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

January 31, 2005 at 12:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahem, Accepted.

January 31, 2005 at 1:05 PM  
Blogger Thérèse said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

January 31, 2005 at 1:33 PM  
Blogger Thérèse said...

I removed my comment because you totally deserve the last word for that crack.

January 31, 2005 at 1:34 PM  
Blogger EngineerDan said...

Do I? Thank you! Than let it be "this".

January 31, 2005 at 1:39 PM  
Blogger Thérèse said...

Okay. :D
Dan picks the last word.
And he chooses...

"This."

January 31, 2005 at 1:41 PM  
Blogger EngineerDan said...

Speaking of "this", check out "this".

http://christiemae.blogspot.com/2005/01/cyberstalkers-unite.html

I am assuming you are familiar with the ER: Engineering Room episode (I say that more for future readers' sake than yours)

While I was honored that I (once) was on the list, I couldn't help but take the jab located in my reply post.

January 31, 2005 at 1:47 PM  
Blogger Thérèse said...

Oh, I give up.

January 31, 2005 at 2:38 PM  
Blogger EngineerDan said...

Please post a comment following this one if you are a moron.

January 31, 2005 at 3:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great blog. I will remember to come back here for for insight intocellular lg phone I found this info useful also cellular lg phone

October 12, 2005 at 8:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very insightful info on cellular download free phone ringtone ,. More info on the subject here. cellular download free phone ringtone

October 12, 2005 at 8:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark your site!

I have a free cellular phone wallpaper
site. It pretty much covers free cellular phone wallpaper
related stuff.

Come and check it out if you get time :-)

October 13, 2005 at 8:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice job on your blog! I am book marking your site for future reference.

I have recently created a cellular phone services
site. It pretty much covers cellular phone services
related stuff.

Stop by and check it out if you have time.

October 13, 2005 at 8:31 PM  
Blogger acoach2 said...

You have a great blog here on an important health concern. I have a**gum disease** site. It pretty much covers **gum disease** related stuff. Great job!

October 25, 2005 at 4:49 PM  
Blogger acoach2 said...

Wonderful site on important health concern. I'm going to book mark your blog. I also have a **gum disease** site. It pretty much covers **gum disease ** related stuff.

October 28, 2005 at 3:44 PM  
Blogger Johnny said...

Just visited your blog, It is interesting to read. If you need some free cell phone tips, please click here .

October 29, 2005 at 3:22 PM  
Blogger Johnny said...

Just visited your blog, It is interesting to read. If you need some free cell phone tips, please click here .

October 29, 2005 at 3:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow! Awesome blog... Check me out if you get a chance :cell color free graphic phone

November 2, 2005 at 1:23 PM  
Blogger Shawn T Lippert said...

Thank you for the informative blog
Here Is some additional
Cell Phone Games Resources for most Cell Phones if you or your readers are interested.

January 12, 2006 at 6:36 PM  
Blogger britney said...

the good thing about your blog is, its natural. Appreciate your views and added my comment on it. keep it moving and have a great blog. cheers !!!! cash advance

March 21, 2006 at 6:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello, what a great blog! I'm going to bookmark you!. do u htink my site on online paydya loan
possess same qualities. u can find some important information on online paydya loan

May 17, 2006 at 11:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for the informative blog. i have few of my sites where u can get
additional resources for payday loan . i hope you and your readers will find it interested. please
visit us at payday loan

May 21, 2006 at 4:19 PM  
Anonymous construction loans said...

Thank you for the informative blog. i have put some information on construction loans ,
if that can be a help to u and your readers.

June 20, 2006 at 8:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So far, two people have come out and said they think that Day By Day is at least sometimes funny. Neither has provided any physical evidence of this. so please have a look at personal loans

June 22, 2006 at 11:55 AM  
Anonymous no fax payday loan said...

Since I do not believe that I can adequately describe my feelings towards no fax payday loan and how incredible it is to me, I decided to let somebody else describe it, for me. I am choosing to blog today about no fax payday loan

June 27, 2006 at 5:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Posting information about their industry or field will create a sense of community involvement that potential customers will appreciate. Using links to your business page will create traffic from search engines and blog readers. You can even add a subscription form to your blog so that interested readers can immediately be emailed when you make a post. visit us at Payday loans

July 8, 2006 at 11:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I decided to post on this blog as a way to keep my friends informed of whats
going on with Health insurance . It is more like a journal of my life that I'm happy to share.

August 8, 2006 at 4:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I didnt find thing that i need... :-(
msn

November 24, 2006 at 6:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Buy levitra online

http://mtsu32.mtsu.edu:11263/_disc2/00000193.htm#cialis

December 13, 2006 at 8:30 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home